Absolutely terrified. Crazy wanderlust. Fear of missing Nijmegen. Fear of physical injury. Fear of not enjoying. Wanting to start immeaditely
In the months leading up to this trip, I have thought, pondered, contemplated way way too much. As a thinker instead of a do-er, I spend many hours thinking how this trip would be like. Mainly with good and happy thoughts, but I got scared of the doubts I felt in some of my thoughts. Fear of doubts, made me doubt even more and voila I got stuck in this vicious circle of negative thoughts. It was hard to break free from these, sometimes I wondered if I should do it anyways. I realized that the only way of knowing if I like it, is to do it. Since I love travelling and before this trip started already I traveled a month through Europe in a van and spend a week in Danish forests, without a doubt I am going to love the trip.
Another aspect of uncertainty was if I would be joined by people on the road. I realized that travelling alone for a month would be too lonely and I asked some people around me if someone is willing to join. I found a great friend of mine, Jeroen, who is willing to join me. Only two days before we left he got is definite answer. Near Paris we will be joined by another friend and with the three of us, we will make it to Bordeaux where I will continue alone, and they will head back to Nijmegen.
Realizing and accepting the doubts of travel partners, destinations and the trip as a whole, created some rests in my head. instead of overthinking before, I created the mindset of ‘let’s see what happens’. Now with much more ease I am preparing to leave Nijmegen for good until December and pack all my belongings for Bath and the trip to Porto. Still there are some traces of fear in my thoughts, but much more confidence and joy is now filling the chambers of my brains. Let’s see how this trip will go and where I will end up coming weeks.
Let’s see what is around my corner.